Someone Came In

Someone Came In

               In a dream, I was in an army recruiter’s office trying to enlist as a military counselor. An enigmatic figure, he didn’t answer me one way or the other. 

               I’ve been fasting every Monday to get ready for vision quest.  Fasting is hard, so I always hope it does me some good spiritually, clearing the way for Creator to get into my brain.  Fasting often helps meditation, so I went into the lodge and thought about the dream.  In my mind’s eye, the army recruiter expanded into something vast and complex, infinitely detached from my fears and desires.  It encompassed an immensity of experience, from which arose deep compassion.

               This is my higher self, I thought.  In contrast, I felt small, slow, and sadly limited.  My higher self must be bored to death with me. 

               I heard the front door slam the way Charlie shuts it.  I thought he must have come home, but he hadn’t – no one was there.  Maybe it was a vision.  The knowingness at my core said, “Someone came in.”  I had forgotten how strange and sudden spirit world messages can be while preparing for vision quest.  They were telling me this new, conscious connection with my higher self was important, and I had better explore it.

               There is not any place on earth for the higher self, I thought; that’s for after you die.  The whole reason for being a physical person is to be tiny, confused, and blindly stumbling around.  There was no point in questioning it, however; apparently I had my marching orders.

               It usually doesn’t rain here in June, so I was up on the porch roof sanding a gable end for painting.  Off to the north, a strong wind began to blow.  Down the valley a pink swirl of dust towered high in the air, moving from west to east.  The wind blew harder and I wondered if I should get off the roof, but then it died down and the dust dissipated. 

               I thought about the Navajo rain dance ceremony chant, “As I walk, as I walk, the Universe walks with me.”  This was magic.  What was it reflecting?  The image in my mind was a great swirl of my mental constructs all in bits.  I took it as a heads-up; that my perspective is being adjusted.