Non-Traditional Women

Non-Traditional Women

               Our lodge is non-traditional, but we didn’t start with that in mind.  Within a framework of four rounds of prayers accompanied by very hot stones, we have always done our best to determine what the spirits want us to do.  Over time, we have diverged from the traditional Lakota sweat as our purpose has become more clear.  Our lodge is about growth and healing facilitated by connection with a loving Creator.  The sweat ceremonies are a way for those of us in modern culture to encounter the spirit world and benefit from its strong medicine.

               One of the ways our lodge is non-traditional is men and women share the same roles, without any gender-based exclusionary policies.  This allows everyone to participate based on their inner spiritual guidance.   Equal participation has worked very well for us, resulting in efficient use of resources and harmonious relationships.  

Traditional Native people believe that menstruating women should not sweat or come into contact with sacred objects.  The reason given for this is that women are “too powerful” during this time, causing harm to men, and things to go awry.  In our lodge we have tested this out extensively and discovered no ill effects – rather, the opposite.  Women are able to benefit from the sweat as often as necessary, can plan for and go out on vision quests, and can be relied upon to help with the considerable amount of work it takes to hold a sweat and assist with vision quests.   Equal participation in spiritual life is empowering and confers dignity, and everyone’s help is needed in order for us to hold lodges regularly.

               Many Native people also believe men and women should not sweat together.  One Native woman relayed to me what her sister told her: “You shouldn’t even smell the sweat of a man!”  Before we had our own lodge, Charlie sweated for several years in a traditional Lakota lodge held regularly at that time.  The women built a separate lodge next to the men’s, which was agreeable to everyone.  However, the women wanted the men to show up for their lodges to chop wood, tend the fire, and carry in the stones for them.  This was traditional in their view, but the men didn’t want to do it.  They figured if the ladies wanted to sweat, they should do the work.  The men and the women argued about it frequently.  One day the pipe carrier looked out his back window and saw the women’s lodge was on fire – odd.  He went out and doused it.  Later he noticed it burning again, so once again he extinguished the flames, this time wetting the entire structure thoroughly.  He checked awhile later, again saw flames, and this time let it burn to the ground.  Charlie interpreted this incident as a message from the spirits that the men and the women should sweat together, which they usually did after that.

In the fall a year ago, I went on vision quest at a site near Wupatki.    It is a loving and powerful place, with an indefinable sense of the feminine.   The lodge women wanted to see it, so a week later a group of us, including a member’s two daughters, went out there.  We ambled along, chatting and looking at the trees, grasses, tracks and rocks.  Eventually we arrived at our destination.  We made offerings of tobacco, corn meal and water to the directions and smoked the pipe in honor of the spirits.  Sitting on a rock ledge, we joked, laughed, and ate tortillas.  We then shared stories of life wisdom with each other.   It felt like the spirits had arranged this experience to help us understand more about the strengths women and the Divine Feminine bring to the whole.  

In this way we are as traditional as it is possible to be.  The spirits work to teach us, and we do our best to listen and learn, trusting their perfect wisdom.  The spirits seem very intent on women and men working together in dignity and mutual respect, in connection with Creator.  Traditionally, the lodge is considered to be a symbol of the Universe, holding all things.  If this is so, and we do our ceremonies in a good way, perhaps we are helping rectify some of the imbalance and pain of humanity.